Chief’s heard a lot of people say that “What you don’t know can’t hurt you.” But let Chief assure you that none of those people were in the room that time Chief didn’t know the spear gun was loaded.
Law enforcement is very important to The Chief. That’s how he’s able to overlook complains made against him. Complaints like, “You aren’t wearing pants.” “My mother couldn’t have robbed that bank, she’s dead, this is her wake.” And, “Being French is not a chargeable crime.”
Chief was recently asked to donate to the Children’s Miracle Network. Chief is unsure about this, because if there are children who can perform miracles, why do they need money. But on the same note, if there is a network of children who perform miracles, Chief doesn’t want them finding out he didn’t donate and coming after him.
Chief’s never seen anyone actually kill two birds with one stone, however he has seen a former mayor kill a flock of geese with a 97’ Buick LaSabre, which in Chief’s opinion is much more impressive.
Chief hopes he someday sees a world where there is no racism, where every homeless person has a home and employment, and “Hollaback Girl” takes it’s rightful place as the national anthem.
Chief’s heard a lot of talk of people doing “Twitter” recently. Chief’s not sure what “twittering” is or if it’s legal, but he’ll find some excuse to lock up anyone he catches doing it.
Chief’s hear a lot of conjecture about proper interrogation techniques. Chief finds that a nice cup of tea and daytime television works best. You’d be surprised by how many people trained to withstand torture can’t get through one episode of “The View”.
Someone once asked Chief when he was going to write an autobiography. Chief just wants to say that he doesn’t believe in writing life stories about cars. Chief read the autobiography “Carrie” by Stephen King once. Chief couldn’t believe that Stephen went through that. Chief couldn’t drive for a month.
