Here is a letter from a poor delusional guy.
“Dear Chief,
I work as a paralegal in an upscale law office. I’ve been making progress and learning a lot from my boss, ‘Becky’ who is as wonderful a boss as I’ve ever had. Because of my job we spend a lot of time together working on various cases, which hasn’t been a problem until recently.
Now, I’m not trying to sound vain when I say I’m a decent looking guy, and I’d have a girlfriend if I wasn’t so focused on my career at this point.
I say this because recently my boss has been acting differently towards me. I don’t want to call it ’sexual harassment’ but it’s getting to that point. She smacks my ass like a baseball player when we make a breakthrough in a case. She says it’s what everyone does, and I’d believe her if she hadn’t recently said the same thing about cupping my manhood when we win a case.
What I need to know is, when should I write a letter to Penthouse, before or after the kinky office sex?
- Long and Legal
New York, NY”
Legal,
Chief’s not sure if you know how much of a loser you are, but he’s pretty sure your friends tell you. But although it’s very unlikely, Chief will answer this question as if it were real.
First of all, Chief has worked closely with male and female officers, both on stakeouts and undercover, and once at Dave and Busters. A certain level of closeness is to be expected, and is sometimes insulting if it doesn’t occur. In fact, SGT. Watson still hasn’t returned Chief’s phone calls, a fact that hasn’t escaped Chief’s attention, Watson. Chief’s not sure how often he can apologize for not booking a room with two beds or even a double bed for that month long stakeout.
Also if your ‘manhood’ was not exposed she would not have been able to put a cup over it, a move that anyone would make after noticing exposed ‘manhood’. From what you say it sounds to Chief like you are the one who is inappropriate.
As for writing a letter to someone in the penthouse, Chief feels correspondence is always important, especially in the legal field. However, the fact that you don’t know which penthouse you’re addressing shows flagrant incompetence. Also attempting to write a letter during kinky office sex is at best inappropriate, and at worst insulting to your partner, who most likely expects most of your attention.
Chief hopes he’s helped you with your imaginary problem, even though he believes the only true part of this letter is that your manhood fits in a coffee cup.
-Chief
